Which Generation Has Had It the Toughest? For Perth: Ask, Don’t Compare

There’s a lot of talk about whether parents today do too much or too little, and about whose generation had it harder. I think every generation of parents shows up with its own challenges, and most of them didn’t get to pick theirs.

Our parents certainly weren’t over-parenting, and that wasn’t the worry anyone had back then. Parents with young kids now are dealing with social media and a whole list of things that simply weren’t part of the picture when we were growing up. Those are different problems, and they need different answers.

That’s why comparing gets us so little. Telling a young mom that kids used to go outside and be fine doesn’t help her much when her twelve-year-old has a phone in his pocket. She isn’t raising kids in some earlier decade, and the advice has to fit the one she’s actually in.

What helps, I think, is asking. Ask what it’s actually like for them, and listen to the answer before handing over advice that worked for a different time (it might still work, but it might not).

Most parents aren’t looking for a ruling on whether they’re doing it right. They’d probably settle for someone who understands what they’re up against, though a casserole wouldn’t hurt either.

I wrote some of my own thoughts into John’s book, #dealwithit: Duct Tape for the Soul, in the sections called “Mel’s Turn.”

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This is for personal reflection, not medical or crisis advice.